Here and Gone Again
by TeamRed
Summary: Ciel has been feeling a new emotion. Jealousy. Yes, he suffers from the torture of Sebastian's constant teasing and tempting. The two are slowly drifting apart, much to Ciel's chagrin, even to the point where they quarrel once within one another's presence. This isn't how it's supposed to be! Why would Sebastian do this to Ciel? Does he secretly love him back?


Hello, world. My name is Jealousy. Yes, you've probably heard of me, and most likely you've seen me. Remember when you were little and you saw that other kid with the brand new toy that you have been begging your parents for? Yep, I remember that too, because I was there. Remember that time your crush betrayed you for another person? I was there too, laughing in delight. You see, I am always in the lives of humans, they simply can't seem to live their lives without me. Speaking of, I believe there was one moment I happened to capture, and by far it was the most grand I had ever seen. You see, there was a young boy who welcomed me to stand beside him for quite a long time. The boy's name was Ciel Phantomhive, I believe. Oh, how exciting! I simply must tell you the story in full! ~

It was an everyday case, nighttime of course, and the boy was working on some case that involved a cult. He had his butler, Sebastian, alongside him. Against their will, a bloody red Shinigami by the name of Grell decided to tag along as well. They were in desperate need of information from a particular young lady, but she kept her mouth sealed. So Sebastian, like a true butler, stepped up for his master.

Of course, neither Ciel nor Grell saw this one coming.

Sebastian used, um, "unnecessary" actions to get his way. As the two stood outside, Ciel began to fidget. Of course, Grell was far past that stage and was seething and swearing. The boy simply muttered, "Well, we've never used this method before," he said, keeping his cool. In spite of his calm composure, on the inside he felt rather odd, per say. I had been watching from a distance all this time, but soon enough he realized that I was actually right there next to him now. He felt this foreign emotion seep into his heart, and sure as hell it stung. His face flushed bright red, and he felt as though he would collapse. No one was there to notice my effect on him, fortunately for his sake. He couldn't quite seem to put his finger on it as to why he was so jealous. 'Why on Earth would I care about what that stupid cat-obsessed moron does? He's just a butler, and nothing mo-' "Oh, I can see the gates of Heaven now!" cried the girl. Ciel just growled under his breath, "Stupid woman..." he said. He could not be heard, for Grell shot out a new set of swears, completely refueled. Even though watching Grell was entertaining, I didn't much care for the redhead's situation.

This carried on for a good hour longer, Sebastian never losing any steam. Ciel was just about done for. Forget the hatred he had felt before. He hated that woman. He hated all women. Anyone who ever came close to Sebastian.

The boy's heart was spent. He snuck away from Grell, claiming he thought he saw something, a demon hound or something, and disappeared around a corner. He approached a great oak tree, slumped down next to it, and wailed. He didn't curse, didn't promise to kill the woman "even if it was the last thing he'd do", no. He just let out the frustration he felt inside of him. As he took in a breath of air, about to let another scream tear through the air, when he was interrupted by a voice of false concern. "Come now, Bocchan, you mustn't shriek like that, you might harm your vocal chords," said a smirking Sebastian, fully dressed and adjusting his tie. "Let us not waste any more time with idle chit-chat, we must 'keep it moving,' as you previously ordered," the tall man said again, walking away from the boy, Grell following happily. Ciel clenched his teeth in pure rage. 'I want nothing more than to punch that pretty little face of his,' he thought to himself. 'Wait, did he just say "pretty"? Since when had I been so absurd?' he thought to himself. In reality, what he meant to ask was since when did he begin to be honest with himself. Yes, that sounds about right. Oh, this is about to get interesting.

Ever since that night, Ciel hand found himself acting defensive of his butler. Of course, Sebastian was aware of a dark emotion surrounding his master, driving him to want to keep the man at his side at all times (fortunately he did not know exactly why. Well, if he did, he didn't show it). But, being the sadistic and malicious person he was, this only drove him to want to wander off more often, which in turn drove the boy positively mad. Sebastian just _had_ to, of all things, spend the night with multiple women without his master's consent. He would sneak out after the young lord was put to sleep, and do his business. Unfortunately, Ciel had to find out the hard way.

After being put to bed one fateful night, he heard a noise down the hall. He was about to call for Sebastian to check for intruders or something like that, but then a female voice beat him to the call of the name. Just then, I slowly began to crawl through the window. The young Lord, realizing the situation at hand, (or rather the one several rooms away), was suddenly greeted with me sitting beside him. He shouted with all of his might, "Sebastian, you bastard!" But alas, he remained unheard. He tried his best to plug his ears, even going as far as burrowing himself beneath a pillow and blankets. He let tears of frustration fall, accompanied by sobs and wails. Me? Oh, I just sat there, soaking up the beauty of the tragic moment.

The following morning, Ciel had a temper tantrum that even the devil himself would be proud of. Sebastian set down a teapot and cup before his master, "Did you sleep well, my Lord?" he asked with a smirk. Bad move. Ciel quickly grabbed the pot and flung it straight for Sebastian's unsuspecting face. "Why don't you answer your own question, you stupid prick?!" shouted the boy, seething. Sebastian's face did not show surprise, nor hurt, or anything of the sort. He actually looked...bored. "Yes, my Lord," he replied stiffly. "What the hell is that? Some pitiful excuse? Get the hell out! I don't want you within twenty feet of me!" shouted the young Lord, truly feeling the level of his power over the demon. Ciel exited a door on the opposite end of the room, slamming it and mumbling curses under his breath, in great contrast to Sebastian's graceful exit. Once the door was closed behind the boy, he fell to his hands and knees, the pain of what he had just done catching up to him. He didn't want to push Sebastian away, if anything he just wanted him to be his own. Yes, he finally admitted it to himself. Ciel had fallen in love with his demon butler. He knew it was shameful, but he just couldn't help it. He loved Sebastian's demonic charm, his messy black hair, and those piercing red eyes. Surprisingly, he also loved his sadistic and arrogant attitude, and, as much as he hated to admit it, he even liked it a little when Sebastian teased him. It's just that he couldn't stand the pain. The fact that Sebastian managing to break his heart before the boy even gave it to him was mortifying, and it made Ciel wonder what would happen to him if he just handed over all of his heart. He feared that would be the one thing to drive him to his end.

Sebastian, now on the other half of the mansion, also wondered. He felt a strange feeling welling up within him. No, I was not there, not at all. I was still shrouding over the boy's heart like a heavy rain cloud. This was something different; guilt. Yes, the demon had felt a twinge of regret for his actions. Keyword: twinge. He did not feel bad enough about what he had done to never do it again. After all, he was a demon, and demons are not soft-hearted.

This carried on for months at a time. If the young Lord should awake to the unpleasant sounds again, he would walk far off to the other end of the manor. One night, though, he happened to have bumped into May-Rin. He looked at her tiredly, but didn't even bother with any orders or scoldings. Someone should've told her that. "I'm so sorry, Bocchan! Oh, I do feel awful for disrupting you!" she had, in this short time, dropped to her knees, pleading. The Ciel was completely out of any anger or scorn he possessed; it was rather exhausting to live through the pain he suffered. Although I still lingered within his heart, many other of my kin had come as well, some such as Anger, Sadness, Torment, and Hatred. However, the most dominant one was Despair.

"You may rise, don't bother with me," he muttered softly. Tears still stung at his eyes, in spite of being out of earshot of the terrors in Sebastian's chambers. May-Rin, not being one to overlook her master's sadness, boldly took him into an embrace. Ciel tensed up at first, but didn't resist. If anything, he needed some form of affection. "Thank you," he said softly, hugging her back. She smiled. At that moment, all he remembered was his mother and Madam Red. How he loved them. The warmth they gave him was the most splendid feeling in the world. May-Rin seemed to give off the same warm. It was not of the same love Angelina and Rachel had presented, but love nonetheless. The love of friendship.

After spending about an hour simply talking in the parlor, May-Rin became quite sleepy, and Ciel bid her a good night. He had made a conclusion that women were not as terrible a species as he had previously believed them to be.

Ciel then began the journey back to his room, hoping the torture had ended.

And indeed it did. Unfortunately, the boy saw Sebastian escorting his "dolly" to the door, and they saw him as well. The woman was quite odd looking, actually. She had rather short navy-blue hair that barely reached her chin, accompanied by large blue eyes. Her body was rather small, almost bony in frame, and she wasn't very tall. "Sebby-chan," she began. Her voice was a little on the deep side for a female's, "who is this?" she asked, distaste in her voice. Ciel simply frowned, beating Sebastian to it. "I am Ciel Phantomhive, head of this estate," he said proudly. She scoffed, "You?" she said with a smirk. She slowly approached the young Lord, "Aren't you a little too childish-," she said, pinching his cheeks, "-to be a Lord?" He smacked her hand away, and he was about to follow this up with a rude comment, but Sebastian beat him to the catch this time. "Do not lay your filthy hands upon my master, you trash of a human being," he said calmly, yanking her away from Ciel. She turned to Sebastian, a shocked expression on her face, "Excuse me? Are you trying to say I am not pretty enough for you anymore?" she interrogated as Sebastian practically dragged her to a door, "No, I'm saying exactly what I said: Do not come near my master." He shoved her out the door, careful not to put forth too much strength, for all she knew he was only human. "Oh, and by the way," he shouted as she strode the rest of the way out the door and away from the manor, "you're not very feminine either, considering you look a hell of a lot like my master!" he said, being quite cocky in his pride. He slammed the door shut, and turned to a stunned Ciel. 'That was it,' the boy thought, 'That's what was so shocking about her. She looked like...me.' He looked up to Sebastian, almost a little frightened.

Sebastian's eyes said one thing: I'm sorry. Ciel then regained his ability to feel, seeing what Sebastian had done for him. He knew that Sebastian really did feel some sort of a partial preference towards him, and he had a strange way of showing it. "Sebastian," began the young Lord, feeling as stern as ever, "Why in hell did she look like me?" The demon smirked, "Care to answer your own question, my Lord?" The boy rolled his eyes, "Well...it's just...oh, shut up!" he concluded, strangely proud of this. "Yes, my Lord." This time, the response was sincere. I, then, took my leave.

Sebastian carried Ciel back to his room, taking note of the fact that Ciel had been up all night, and it was three in the morning. He pulled the sheets over the small body in a more gingerly way than he had ever done. He certainly didn't want to upset his Bocchan again, now did he? But then came a rather irritated question from the boy, "Sebastian, don't ever do that to me again, is that clear?" "Of course, my Lord," he replied, without hesitation. "And if you should ever feel the need to do that again," said Ciel, letting his mouth run, "you are to come straight to me, is that clear?" He blushed immediately after he said that. The man chuckled, "As you wish, my Lord." This time, he sealed his promise with a kiss, deep and sincere.

From then on, never again did I enter the life of Ciel Phantomhive for such a matter. No, Love was the only one that remained with the two, and forever it stayed there. Now one can truly say they all lived happily ever after.

Save for Lizzy, who happened to come waltzing in on the wrong night.

But then the engagement was broken, so they lived happily ever after again.


End file.
